Name: height marks
Duration: P00H05M20S
Description: a wise professor i had once said you should always write the song scares you.. this is mine. mental illness affects youth more than we realize, and steals time too.

height marks

from Chrysalis Capsule by liv hayes

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a wise professor i had once said you should always write the song scares you.. this is mine. mental illness affects youth more than we realize, and steals time too.

lyrics

i used to run through meadows
with my eyes unafraid and closed
knew someday i’d outgrow my body
thought my imagination would protect me

height marks on the doorframe
showed how much i had changed
when i only had growth to gain
before grey mist covered my brain

years flew, never got much taller
but my brain had started to wander
into a smokey abyss
of fear and phantom loneliness

height marks on the doorframe
chipped and withered away
as i started to suffocate
on the shadows beneath my face

i let the mist consume
storybook stacks in my room
all the books i loved as a child
turned into black sweater piles

height marks on the doorframe
turned to tallies countin' the days
to planned expiration dates
wishin' this would all go away

shattered and out of place,
lonely child without a face
i know the mist will never fade
had no choice but to change

my shadow almost took me down
these days i’m glad i stuck around

credits

from Chrysalis Capsule, released May 14, 2022

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liv hayes New York, New York

so, here's what i'm thinking...

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